Excogitation: Stuff

If there’s one thing the military taught us, it was how to stuff all the  stuff we’d need for a 6-month vacation into a 860 cubic-inch bag (bag, duffel, olive-drab green, NSN 8465-01-117-8699).  Of course, after the mandatory 4-sets of everything, and extra set of boots, and a half-year supply of toiletries, there wasn’t even room left for Pogey Bait.  This military concept came with the understanding that everything else—beds, tents, meals, bathrooms, water, and other necessary infrastructure items—would be provided and/or delivered.

As we prepared for our extended road-trip, we had to create a list of things we needed and wanted to take—including the infrastructure items.  This wouldn’t be an extended weekend at a B&B.  If you wanted a hot shower, you needed to pack a hot shower.

After retiring from an overseas assignment, the government will store your stuff at their cost for up to 1-year.  This was a blessing for us, as we would not need to arrange for storage or have someone “house-sit” our stuff.  This once-in-a-lifetime benefit allowed us to take immediate possession of only a portion of the stuff we thought we would need (or want) on this trip.

“You can’t have everything.  Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

In order to decide what stuff makes the cut, you have to create a set of assumptions; otherwise you could take everything in your 60-foot tractor-trailer, or only a 860 cubic-inch bag (bag, duffel, olive-drab green, NSN 8465-01-117-8699) which pairs nicely with a 2-person tent in the back of your Prius.  So our initial assumptions/guides we went something like this:

• ·      Vehicle: 4-door, crew-cab pick-up.
• ·      RV: 28’-32’ 5^th wheel with ~2,000 lbs stuff capacity
• ·      Length of travel: 9-12 months
• ·      Expected climate: 40°F to 100°F
• ·      Bed-down locations: campgrounds, State/National parks, and public lands

With our general guidelines and assumptions in place, we proceeded to create the list of stuff we would consider taking with us on this trip.  The creation of this list can only be described as a cross between Let’s Make A Deal and selling your soul at The Crossroads.  If you want a maddening exercise in comparing apples and space stations, look around where you currently sit and began assigning prioritizing values on everything you see.  Then add any collateral items that are required for those items. 

“The things you own, end up owning you.”  -Tyler Durdan from the motion picture Fight Club

While sitting through a typhoon in Okinawa, we dreamt of peddling through the falling pastel leaves on a winding Vermont bike trail on a crisp autumn day.  We must take our bikes or we will not be able to make this dream a reality!  So our list now has two mountain bikes…plus a bike rack…plus bike repair kit…plus bike helmets/gloves/shoes…plus an air pump…plus a cable lock…and those padded shorts that you can only wear if you’re 1) on a bike, or 2) certifiably incontinent.  Now you’re looking at a whole bunch of stuff to carry around for a year just to make that Ben & Jerry’s experience a reality.

So we found ourselves looking at all of our stuff through a different set of eyes.  Some stuff was “a need”—like “the wares” (cookware & “underware”).  Some stuff was “a want”—like the bikes.  And some stuff ended-up being a compromise between the two.  We weren’t going to watch a Teton sunset drinking wine from a plastic glass, but we weren’t going to bring our good crystal either.  An inexpensive wine glass would be span this gap.

In going through this exercise, we learned quite about ourselves.  We own lots of stuff of value, but the items that were “non-negotiable must-haves” were not items that we’d ever insure or place a great deal of value upon: comfortable chairs, good cutlery, non-plastic dishes, coffee mill & French press, rice cooker, and plush bedding.  Stuff that did not make the cut included; bikes, beach gear (except swim suits), backpacks, skis, and folding tables. 

With the finalists in the Stuff Pageant inventoried, we were ready for the next (and biggest) pre-trip phase—getting something to haul our stuff.