Clemson (SC)

Less than 100-miles due south of Candler sits the collegiate town of Clemson, South Carolina.  Although the university that sports the name of the town dates to 1889, the town of Clemson has only carried that name since 1943.  Prior to 1943 this piece of land was named Calhoun, after the South Carolina Senator and 7^th Vice President of the United States—John C. Calhoun.

We relished the short trip south, as it made our travel day an easier trek, and set-up tasks were completed well before sunset.  We checked into our new digs at the Twin Lakes (Army CoE) campground, and set-up next to a local Boy Scout troop that had assembled their encampment amongst the aged hardwoods adjacent to the 56,000-acre Hartwell Lake.  The campground is situated on the northern end of Hartwell Lake, and our campsite was on a peninsula that gave us a distant view of the clock tower of Clemson University’s Tillman Hall, as well as the nose-bleed section of Frank Howard Field (aka “Death Valley”).  When we arrived on Saturday, the campground was relatively full; but by Sunday evening we were living in relative solitude. 

"There is no such thing as bad weather; only inappropriate attire." -  Author Unknown

 The weather was better.  Not warm, but better.  Daytime temps only reached into the mid-40’s, but the nighttime temps only dipped into the very manageable “upper-20’s” range.  We still worked to implement our anti-freezing countermeasures, but activities—both inside and outside the rig—were not hampered by the weather.

We had been on the road for 3-weeks, and our S&S (subsistence & sundries) were beginning to diminish.  It was time to roast a turkey.

“Gobble gobble goo, and gobble gobble gickel.  I wish turkey only cost a nickel.”  -Adam Sandler; The Thanksgiving Song

Relevant back-story information for readers:  We have two large dogs that have large dog appetites.  Today’s going price for canned dog food is just under a buck for all-purpose Alpo.  This, coupled with a mixture of dry dog food, would make owning a horse more economically viable.  After trying to find a healthy, yet cost-effective solution to feeding these voracious hounds, we found a happy median—turkey and rice.  We can normally get whole turkeys for under a dollar per pound, and we mix it with rice (which we have readily available in our house 24/7) at a 2:1 ratio.  This ends up being 1) cheaper & healthier than canned dog food; and 2) a quick snack for me when I don’t feel like fixing dinner.

Campground Turkey Roasting 101:  Although this may seem like no big deal, we actually prepared for this activity long before we hit the road.  There are three “main parts” to roasting a turkey while RVing.

The first is thawing.  Being chronically brain-washed in the Public Health arts, there is no bigger nemesis during the holidays than the microbes lurking on improperly thawed meats.  The “M.O.” of these microscopic menaces and their alimentary assaults have been purported for decades; resulting in preventive posturing of vulnerable vittles <whew!>.  Unlike our “stick home,” the RV has a small refrigerator—8 cubic feet to be exact.  The Lilliputian-sized ice-box—coupled with the multiple days required to thaw a frozen turkey—would leave us with enough room to store a pint of half & half (which is the most important food group between 5am-9am).  Our original plan was to thaw a turkey in a cooler, replacing the ice as it melts.  For this bird, we got lucky—the outside temperatures were not expected to rise above 45F, so we had ideal thawing temps outside of our RV!  Only two additional issues to deal with when thawing food in the woods: 1) protect it from animals (see make-shift security detail photo); and 2) making sure it didn’t refreeze overnight.  For the latter, we put it back into the cooler when temps dropped below freezing.  After a few days, the gobbler was ready for the roaster.

The actual roasting of the turkey (the 2^nd main part) was no big deal, as it’s similar to how we’ve roasted turkeys at home for years.  The big difference in the cooking is 1) ensuring you don’t overload your RV circuitry with the electric roaster; and 2) finding a suitable place for the roaster.  The first issue was easily resolved by using the 20-amp campsite service (via extension cord) solely for the purpose of powering the electric roaster.  The latter was a little trickier, as cooking outside in 40F weather prevents the roaster from maintaining proper cooking temps; and cooking inside increases the internal heat, humidity, and turkey smell.  The first two can create a mold issue, and the third does to dogs what a pound of Skittles does to 5-year olds.  We opted to roast inside and run all the exhaust vents.

The last main part is storage.  As mentioned in the first main part, a whole frozen turkey takes up a lot of space.  We start by deboning the bird—removing as much meat as we can.  Then we dice it for easy mixing with rice.  Lastly we pack it into quart-sized storage bags and put it in the freezer.  Even after deboning and losing water-weight (and trust me when I tell you that these companies inject a LOT of water to make extra dough), there is still about 70% of the original bird left to deal with.  After competing our first RV turkey roasting, our freezer was P-A-C-K-E-D to capacity—with room only for two small pints of Ben & Jerry’s (which is the most important food group between 5pm-9pm).

There is a 4^th part (although it isn’t a “main part”)—clean-up.  Namely the roasting pan, the roasting rack, and the copious amounts dog drool on the kitchen floor.

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